Hit her back or take it on the chin?

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I’ve been asked on more than one occasion, whether I was ever tempted to hit my ex-wife back.

 

The victim of domestic abuse for 9 years, my wife’s violent outbursts kept me on edge and I planned every detail of every day to avoid her triggers being pulled, because when they got pulled, the gates of hell were truly opened.

 

I was bitten, kicked, slapped, punched (she floored me completely on a number of occasions), and she attacked me with anything she could lay her hands on, like the set of keys, the metal watering can … and the candlestick (yes I know: it sounds like an Agatha Christie movie).

 

But when it was all kicking off, did it ever cross my mind to hit her back?

 

Whilst I’ve never been a professional cage fighter or Kung Fu expert, (although I did watch The Karate Kid back in the day) and whilst I’ve never been a violent man … I guess I could have hit her back, but:

 

  • Would it have put her in her place?
  • Would it have been justified?
  • Would it have created a more peaceful home?

 

So to answer the BIG question first:

 

The thought of hitting back almost never crossed my mind because my autopilot response to her rage was appeasement rather than standing up to her. I was 100% focussed on damage limitation, so hitting back was simply not on my list of options.

 

However, towards the end of our relationship, I came close to hitting back on a couple of occasions because my fear had turned to contempt and I’d become increasingly worried that her violent outbursts were getting worse: I genuinely wondered whether she might kill me one day. But whilst I came close to the brink, I didn’t and I am SO glad, that I found the strength to avoid hitting back!

 

For any man caught in an abusive relationship, there are some critically important reasons to avoid hitting back.

 

  1. What will your children think if mummy has a black eye? Who will mummy blame? What will you say to them?
  2. When she reports the punch (sporting the black eye) to the police, to neighbours and friends, and ensures that everyone has seen it (including the parents on the school run) what will they think? Let’s face it, your justification that you hit her back after years of long term domestic abuse will not be believed or taken seriously if you’ve never previously reported the abuse (as most men haven’t). It’s one thing to feel ashamed as a man that you couldn’t prevent domestic abuse from happening, it’s quite another to perceived as the main perpetrator.
  3. If your relationship ends, how likely is it that the incident with the black eye (which she will have reported to the authorities) will make a headline appearance in court when you’re fighting for contact with your children?

 

If you want to survive abuse and come out the other side ready to repair, then reason, logic and rational thinking must prevail every time … and raw emotion must lose. So what is the rational thing to do? (I think you’ll find that hitting back is not the answer)

 

  • Only as an absolute last resort and if you and/or your children are in genuine physical danger, should you take the necessary measures to defend yourself/your children and in defending yourself/your children, your primary motive should still be restraint/how to safely get away/how to confiscate the weapon if one is being used/and calling for help at the earliest opportunity.
  • For anyone caught in physical abuse, my heart goes out to you. It’s a tough, tough call, particularly if you’re trying to shield your children from witnessing the abuse. I’ve been there before, holding back arms which are intent on slamming a candlestick over my head for a second time, feeling the pain from the first blow and I know what a horrible dilemma you’re facing. But when the emotions are boiling over and things are spiralling out of control; hitting back is a perilous and slippery slope.
  • Revenge is over-rated: any temporary feeling of satisfaction will quickly disappear and revenge kick-starts an ever accelerating train, which then speeds out of control and can only stop in a colossal crash.

 

If you ❤️ this post, check out my recent TEDx talk: ‘Domestic Abuse, not a gender issue‘, where I describe my experiences of abuse, why I stayed, how I forgave and the wider issues faced by male survivors.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HgPICMQLls&t=99s

 

Andrew Pain is a high performance coach and TEDx speaker, serving people from all walks of life, enabling them to live boldly, wisely and with less stress, so they live life on their own terms and realise their most precious dreams. In his spare time, he is a campaigner, passionately believing that in order to effectively tackle domestic abuse, we need to de-gender it.

Delegation dilemmas: you know you should but fear they won’t

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Every good leader knows that to free up time, you need to delegate / empower other people to help you, by ‘handing over the baton’ on certain tasks … simple!

But delegation is risky:

– What if they make a mess of the task?

– What if they don’t do it on time?

– What if they keep hassling you to go back over the instructions you originally shared with them?

When leaders are brave or desperate enough to delegate, their common delegation C.R.I.M.E.S. often undermine the success of the process, leading to unfavourable results and some misleading assumptions.

If you want a job done properly, you need to do it yourself!

If only I had a bunch of capable people on my team, then I’d be able to delegate … this lot will never step up.

But here’s the truth: the problem is not your team, it’s your horrible delegation C.R.I.M.E.S. which you’re most probably guilty of!bill-oxford-udXD2NrbXS8-unsplash (1)

… and let’s be clear, the consequences of your C.R.I.M.E.S. are:

  1. Under-performing teams who resent the fact you don’t trust them.
  2. Dis-empowered teams who rely on YOU as the one person to put in the extra shift and take the initiative.
  3. Stressed out leaders who juggle too many jobs, but refuse to delegate because they ‘CAN’T’ (won’t).
  4. Under-developed teams, deprived of the opportunity to stretch themselves, make mistakes and benefit from the learning.

So lets unpack these C.R.I.M.E.S. so you know what to avoid and how to get better results when you delegate, because when your results improve, you will experience a game-changing truth:

Done well, delegation saves time and strengthens teams.

C

Control: You want to delegate the task but seek to control every aspect of progress after you’ve delegated it.

– The processes must be to your liking!

– The order and pace of the processes must be to your liking!

Control freak delegators stifle their delegates because progress occurs when people start thinking for themselves about:

– What might work or not?

– Where are the hazards?

– What is the best order of steps to be completed?

If you’re trying to control things from afar, this isn’t delegation, it’s dumping, and dumping creates resentful robots, NOT successful superstars. Controlling delegators become bossy delegators and working for bossy people is soul destroying and annoying, so people on the receiving end of the bossiness lose interest in the task and are more likely to do a half-hearted job.

At best, when you dish out your instructions, people will zone in and out of what you’re saying as most of us can only remember a few things in one go and instruction overload is like a bewildering bombardment. Instead, involve your delegates in how to progress the task by encouraging a 2-way conversation and avoiding long lists of instructions.

R

Rushed: When we delegate something, we’re often in a rush (in fact, it’s because we’re in a rush that we’re delegating). And when we’re in a rush, we do what we always do, we cut corners and experience outcomes which reflect those cut corners! When we’re in a rush:

– We delegate to the wrong people (more on that in a moment)

– We don’t clarify exactly what we want (more on that in a moment)

– We focus on a speedy handover because time is ticking.

– Our delegation process becomes a few quick-fire instructions at best.

– We forget to check in with our delegates, leaving them feeling isolated and dumped on.

Everyone is guilty of delegating in a rush from time to time, but just make sure its the exception not the norm!

I

Imply: you delude yourself that you’ve spelled it out to your delegates, your instructions are clear and there is no possible way that they could have misunderstood you. But when you said:

You need to do a particularly good job on this

But what does ‘good’ specifically mean?

SPELL IT OUT: which bits of this job are the real deal breakers and which are the deal makers?

Imagine you asked your teenage daughter to clean her room: I’m guessing your version of clean and her version of clean could be miles apart. So if you have an idea of the job you want done, be clear about what CLEAN actually means.

When you delegate to anyone, your kids at home, your team at work, your peers and colleagues … DON’T IMPLY … CLARIFY!

M

Myopic: With no long term strategy, you want to wash your hands of the task as quickly as possible because you’re overstretched, in a hurry, or bored. You just want to off load the task so you’ll spend less time thinking about your delegation process or how to develop the expertise of your delegates (which would save you time in the long run).

With only the short term in mind, you’re less likely to analyse the results and lessons learned when the task is completed and the next time you need to delegate … you’ll be thinking short term because it’s your habit when you delegate: no one wins, no one improves.

E

Ease: We want an easier day, an easier life, an easier future. It’s why we’re trying to pass on the baton, but our desire for ease can make us selfish and lazy, focussing Me on Me.

Ease motivates us to find a doer who is most likely to say yes rather than the right person for the job. Ease leads us to cut corners, where crucial pieces of information can be missed. Ease makes us give up more quickly if the results are not exactly as we want them first time round.

S

Selection: Because of ease, short sightedness and being in a rush, you select the wrong person for the job:

oh, thingymijig can do it”

  • But is ‘thingymijig’ really up to the task? (and his name is Paul btws)
  • OR are you setting him up to fail? (which will crush his confidence)

If you want to save you time, then nail your selection process:

– Can he/she genuinely do the task to the standard you need and within the timescale?

– Can he/she step up?

– Is he/she ready to step up now or is a period of preparation necessary first?

People aren’t always ready today, but most people can be developed over time, so long as they have an open and flexible mindset AND so long as we’re patient and live with the long term in mind.

Conclusion:

Involve your delegates in HOW to deliver the task. Even if you think you’re the expert with decades of experience, give your newbie the space and time to experiment and think for themselves.

Create balance between asking questions and barking out orders. The latter is sometimes necessary but being on the receiving end of constant instructions is boring and demoralising.

Build healthy relationships with your delegates. Most people are much happier to go the extra mile and do a good job for people they like and respect. Avoid the 6 deadly C.R.I.M.E.S. of delegation.

If you ❤️ this post, check out my recent TEDx talk: Domestic Abuse, not a gender issue, where I describe my experiences of abuse, why I stayed, how I forgave and the wider issues faced by male survivors. (See YouTube link below)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HgPICMQLls&t=99s

Andrew Pain is a high performance coach and TEDx speaker, serving people from all walks of life, enabling them to live boldly, wisely and with less stress, so they live life on their own terms and realise their most precious dreams. In his spare time, he is a domestic abuse campaigner, co-leading a pilot project to support male survivors of domestic abuse.

How do you know if you’re in an abusive relationship?

man and woman sitting on sidewalk
Photo by Odonata Wellnesscenter on Pexels.com

After 7 years of being in an abusive relationship, I didn’t actually know that I was in an abusive relationship!

I always knew I had a difficult marriage, but it wasn’t until 2006, when a neighbour witnessed me being attacked and used the words domestic abuse, that the penny started to drop. At first, I tried to discredit it: maybe my neighbour was just over-reacting? But the more I reflected on it, the more I started to ask myself important questions:

– Was it OK that I was being treated like this?

– Was it abuse? Or simply a dysfunctional relationship? (or both?)

– How long was I prepared to put up with it?

Looking back, it’s hard to believe I ever doubted my neighbour. I’m blissfully married today and can honestly say, that I’ve experienced the very worst and best that married life can offer. So, for anyone who is confused about whether their relationship is abusive or not, or, if you’ve never yet considered it but you know things aren’t right in your relationship, I’ve shared 9 reflections from my own life to help you process your thoughts:

1) If I broke one of my wife’s favourite wine glasses today, I’d feel bad and she’d be disappointed when I told her, but I’d never fear telling her: she’d know it was an accident. That’s the difference between a healthy and abusive relationship.

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2) When my lovely wife is running behind time, trying to get the kids out the door and I’m helping her. I never fear it’s going to kick off, or that in her stress, she’ll turn on me: That’s the difference between a healthy and abusive relationship.

3) If I forgot to communicate something important to my wife and it caused her a problem, my heart wouldn’t start racing, nor would my mouth go dry. I’d want to listen to her expressing her feelings, she might be visibly cross and I may feel bad, but I’d know we’d sort it out without descending into a major row. That’s the difference between a healthy and abusive relationship.

4) If I came home drunk after a ‘few’ beers with my footy mates, which turned into an ‘all-nighter’ and I clattered into the house, waking up the kids (and my wife) before being sick in the toilet, then being a grump the next day because I’m hungover, my wife would be rightly annoyed. But her annoyance wouldn’t last for long nor would she turn that isolated and unusual incident into an epic attack on me for every wrong thing I’ve ever done since 2012! I’d owe her an apology, she’d get one and because it would be a rare occurrence, we’d all move on very quickly. That’s the difference between a healthy and abusive relationship.

5) If I felt my wife hadn’t been affectionate with me for a while, I could tell her so, without fearing the repercussions of being honest with her. I wouldn’t need to stress about trying to find the right moment to have this conversation, I’d just talk to her. That’s the difference between a healthy and abusive relationship.

6) If my wife tried on a dress which didn’t suit her, but she liked the dress and was asking my opinion, I could tell her I didn’t think it looked right and that there are better dresses out there for her. I wouldn’t flounder in communicating this because I wouldn’t fear her reaction.That’s the difference between a healthy and abusive relationship.

7) If we were planning a camping trip with the kids, I would do my best to cover all the angles in the planning of what to take, but I wouldn’t be stressed because if we did forget something important, we’d both share the responsibility and work to deal calmly with it. That’s the difference between a healthy and abusive relationship.

8) If we disagreed on how to handle our small child’s tantrum/poor behaviour, we’d talk about it privately without fear of upsetting the other. alexander-dummer-Em8I8Z_DwA4-unsplashLikewise, if I thought my wife had overreacted and been particularly hard on one of our kids, I’d raise it in private and do it in a timely fashion. I wouldn’t leave it for days because I’d be nervous about raising the issue. She might feel initially defensive to being challenged as I sometimes do, but the conversation wouldn’t turn in to a row. We might think about it, talk about it again, and agree to differ or compromise, or alter our thinking having listened to a different point of view. That’s the difference between a healthy and abusive relationship.

9) If my wife wanted to buy a piano, but I was worried about money and whether we could afford it, I could say so without fear. We’d either work together to find a piano at a rock bottom price, or wait until our finances are in a better state. I wouldn’t feel awkward about putting the brakes on it and my opinion would carry weight, it wouldn’t be ignored. That’s the difference between a healthy and abusive relationship.

  • In healthy relationships; disagreements will occur, anger is acceptable, occasionally you feel hurt, but underlying everything is trust, respect and a willingness to compromise on both sides. Couples can talk openly with each other and without fear of repercussions.
  • In healthy relationships, when issues and upset do occur, there is trust, confidentiality and privacy: healthy couples do not wash their dirty linen in public.
  • In healthy relationships, there is an absence of fear. You feel safe.

If, however, you’re treading on eggshells, you fear raising key issues due to how he/she will react, or you avoid saying how you really feel and what your needs really are, then either your relationship could be dysfunctional, or it could be abusive.

The difference between abusive and dysfunctional?

Abusive: one side has become the dominant force and uses the other person’s fear to control and bully them.

Dysfunctional: both sides are trying to control/bully each other.

If you ❤️ this post, check out my recent TEDx talk: Domestic Abuse, not a gender issue, where I describe my experiences of abuse, why I stayed, how I forgave and the wider issues faced by male survivors. (See YouTube link below)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HgPICMQLls&t=99s

Andrew Pain is a high performance coach and TEDx speaker, enabling people from all walks of life to live boldly, wisely and with less stress, so they live life on their own terms and realise their most precious dreams. In his spare time, Andrew is a domestic abuse campaigner, and currently co-leads a pilot project supporting male victims of domestic abuse.

Joel Lacopelli Falsely Accused

In 2015, Joel Lacopelli was falsely accused of sexually assaulting a 4-year old while he cared for the child at Community Bible Church in Port Royal, South Carolina. He was arrested at his home and charged for sexually assaulting a minor under 11 years of age. Charges were dropped on August 20, 2015 for lack of probable cause. His DNA was conclusively excluded from being on the child.

Joel filed a lawsuit for the mishandling of the case. After a four year legal battle, he was paid $500,000.

Resource:
https://www.islandpacket.com/news/local/crime/article240914331.html

Female Predators: Michigan Teacher Charged For Drugging/Raping Students

>Kathryn Houghtaling was a first year teacher who taught special education at Rochester High School in August 2018.

>In January 2019, she was charged with six counts of criminal and sexual conduct in the second degree. Prosecutors added a seventh charge due to Kathryn providing a controlled substance (Xanax) to at least one of the students.

>Authorities claim that the incidents didn’t take place at school. The incidents took place at an apartment and once in a car, while other students watched. One of the boys was a student in her class

>She agreed to a no-contest plea right before her trial started in January. She was found guilty of having sex with her students on multiple occasions. Her sentence is 51 months in prison.

>Kathryn tearfully expressed remorse for her behavior. Claiming that she has learned a lot from the experience and intends to seek help for her mental illness.

Source (s)
Click On Detroit

A Brief Organization Of The Men’s Movement

All Organizations Are Complex Adaptive Systems

[This article was originally published on The Medium]

Introduction
Unlike other demographics, men have a wide variety of communities that represent them. This is due to the fact that men have a variety of different ideas on how to handle the concept of men’s issues. Some communities have common interest and manage to affiliate with one another. This causes confusion to the general public. They get different groups mixed up with one another and are likely to judge one group based on the actions of another group. This also makes it easier for slander by opposition. The media routinely plays off of this confusion in order to push a narrative. The purpose of this article is to end all of the confusion.

Part 1: Different Forms Of Activism
There are several men’s groups that have different goals, strategies, and ideas. Men’s communities heavily vary.
>Some groups usually lean towards a complete civil rights/political rights approach, such as the father’s rights movement and intactivists. This form of activism is all about the legal and political action.
>Other groups put more weight on social issues. MGTOW and the red pill are great examples of this. Groups with this perspective usually consider themselves philosophies and ideologies, as opposed to movements or organizations. Therefore, they are more focused on raising awareness to men’s issues and giving them self help, as opposed to societal changes.
>Finally, you have social movements, such as the men’s rights movement. This allows them to use several strategies-such as legal organization, political action, social issues, and all forms of media attention. They aren’t limited to one topic or strategy.

Part 2: Men’s Communities-Pro Feminism
Pro feminist men’s groups consist of two philosophies: men’s liberation and male feminism. Both philosophies have a huge overlap with one another. However, they have made minor efforts to gain independence and separate themselves from one another.

-Male Feminism

Male Feminist: a (spoof) magazine for men who really care

Male feminism is an extension of the feminist movement used to support their cause, without declaring oneself as an official member of the group. This is due to the controversy of whether or not men can be a member of the feminist movement. The goal of the group is to advocate for social, legal, educational, financial, and political justice for women. It’s a men’s group for women.
Examples:
>White Ribbon Campaign
>National Organization Of Men Against Sexism
>#HeForShe

-Men’s liberation

Image-of-men-marching-in-1972-mens-liberation-movement – Literary Theory  and Criticism

Men’s Liberation exists as a means to deconstruct “traditional masculinity” which they feel is the cause of male issues. They focus more on self help and individual virtue, as opposed to human rights. They believe that men don’t need a movement, just liberation (hence the name).
Examples:
>California Men’s Gatherings
>Radical Faeries

Part 3: Men’s Communities-The Manosphere
The Manosphere is a collection of men’s groups that differ from Pro-feminism, due to their negative relationship with the feminist movement. The Manosphere believes that feminists are responsible-or at least contribute-to a lot of the laws and culture that negatively affects men. For that reason, most of its members refer to themselves as “anti-feminist” while others simply don’t identify as feminists.

-Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)

Men Going Their Own Way - Wikipedia

The MGTOW community is a philosophy that promotes the idea of separatism. It encourages men to “walk away” from women in marriages, relationships, and sometimes friendships. This is due to their perception of the toxic relationship between men and women.

-Red Pill

Report: NH State Rep Created Reddit's "Red Pill"

The red pill is a metaphor that’s used as a philosophy for male advocacy. The red pill is supposed to explain how men and women “wake up” to the harsh realities of gender inequality.

-Pick Up Artist (PUA)

Richard La Ruina Interview - Super Seducer, Gaming, & More

As the name implies, the purpose of the PUA community is to assist men in their pursuit for relationships. This can range from romantic to sexual relationships. This community doesn’t necessarily exist to help men with any direct issues. It purely exists to help heterosexual men “pick up” women.

-Incel

No Love Forbidden Sign Symbol On White Background Stock Photo - Download  Image Now - iStock


Incels are an online subculture who define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner, despite the fact that they want one.

-Mythopoetic Men’s Movement

Iron John: A Book About Men - Wikipedia

What separates the Mythopoetic Men’s Movement from other men’s groups is there focus on “self reflection” and “individual virtue”. This group attempts to connect to men on a “spiritual” level-as opposed to a legal level. Their heavily identified by their unconventional rituals and therapeutic workshops.

-Intactivism

peaceful parenting: Effective Intactivism

Anti-circumcision intactivists. They raise awareness about the harm of the practice in an attempt to put an end to it.
Intactivist Groups:
>Catholics Against Circumcision
>Circumcision Resource Center
>Doctors Opposing Circumcision
>Saving Our Sons

-Father’s Rights Community

Father's Rights Matter - Home | Facebook

Father’s rights groups exist to fix custody laws, fight parent alienation, fight for child support reform, and create a positive image for fathers.
Notable father’s rights groups:
>The Father’s Rights Movement
>Dad’s Divorce
>Fathers 4 Kids
>The Father’s Rights Network
>Fathers 4 Justice
>Families Need Fathers

-Men’s Rights Movement (MRM)

Male - Blue Male Symbol Png , Free Transparent Clipart - ClipartKey

The men’s rights movement is the largest community for men’s issues. The main objective of this movement is to promote cultural and social change, while also fighting for financial and legal changes. Representatives of the movement call themselves MRAs (men’s rights activists). MRAs seek action through politics, business, and media. Their strategies can range from human rights to individual virtue.
The MRA Umbrella:

The National Coalition For Men (NCFM) Urges the Canadian Government to End  Discrimination Against Male Refugees
NCFM logo

The National Coalition For Men (NCFM) is a civil rights organization which aims to address the way sex discrimination affects men and boys. The NCFM is the “legal backbone” of the MRM. They file lawsuits against businesses and schools, while applying political pressure against the government.

Justice For Men & Boys (and the Women Who Love Them)
J4MB logo


Justice For Men & Boys (J4MB) is a men’s rights political party in the UK, with the goal of passing legislation for men and boys.

Honey Badger Radio | Podcast on Podbay
Honey Badger logo

The term “Honey Badgers” was originated to describe women of the men’s rights movement (however, the term “FeMRA” has become more utilized). The term is now more affiliated with the Honey Badger Brigade-a men’s rights organization that runs a website and hosts a weekly podcast. Prominent members of the men’s rights movement (such as Karen Straughan, Alison Tieman, Brian Martinez, and Hannah Wallen) are major speakers for the podcast.

The First International Conference on Men's Issues: Day 1 | Southern  Poverty Law Center
An ICMI Promotional Photo

The International Conference On Men’s Issues (ICMI) is an annual men’s conference where members of men’s rights groups and other male advocacy groups to join and speak about the current state of men and boys.

A Voice for Men

AVFM is a men’s rights website that involves blogging, journalism, and news updates. It helped spawn the annual ICMI and Honey Badger Brigade.

Overlap
A lot of this confusion stems from the overlap between these men’s groups. Despite the noticeable differences, they are likely to find common ground on certain topics. For that very reason, the groups will affiliate with one another to work on a “project” of some sort. But, overlap does not mean that the groups are synonymous. It simply means that they run into each other on several occasions.
Examples:
>A wide variety of men’s groups are present in the manosphere. Father’s rights activists, men’s rights activists, MGTOW, and so forth. Therefore, you can find the group speaking together about men’s issues.
>The father’s rights movement rose to prominence in the West around the same time as the men’s rights movement. The two groups affiliated with each other often. However, they slowly gained independence and became their own separate community. The two groups still overlap and push for policies related to father’s rights. Warren Farrell, formerly known as the “father” of the men’s rights movement, also considers himself to be an advocate for father’s rights. The National Coalition For Men, a men’s rights organization has worked with father’s rights groups to pass laws. A variety of these reasons make it hard for people to tell the difference between “father’s rights” and “men’s rights” groups.
>The Mankind Project (MKP) is an organization that follows a lot of the rhetoric of the pro-feminist men’s liberation movement. However, they revived a lot of the rituals of the mythopoetic men’s movement. They also welcome men of any group to their coalition. Which means that men from all over the male advocacy spectrum may find themselves joining the MKP.

DeAnna Lorraine Interview

DeAnna Lorraine is a congressional candidate running against Nancy Pelosi. She is a YouTube host, conservative political commentator, and a author. DeAnna attended the International Conference On Men’s Issues (ICMI)-a men’s conference-in August of 2019.
While she was at the conference, she did an interview about men’s rights. During the interview, she said that she would like to raise awareness to men’s issues. Please check out this interview from DeAnna on men’s issues.

Media Misandry: iRobot Roomba commercial

In this commercial, the mother, the only woman present, is portrayed as an ordinary and clean natural human being. The males however are portrayed as animals to play off of the nonsensical stereotype of men being dirty slobs. This advertisement is completely appalling. I can’t even imagine why the company in question chose to air this ad. Why would men want to shop at a company that portrays them as a slob and only portrays the woman as a clean person? If you get a chance, please check out this misandric iRobot Roomba commercial.

#WorldCancerDay

February 4 is World Cancer Day. I’m using this day to raise awareness about men and cancer.

Facts About Cancer & Men

  • The most common kinds of cancer among men in the United States are skin cancer, prostate cancer, lung cancer, and colorectal cancer.
  • There is a cancer screening process for people attempting to find the cancer early before it causes symptoms. Two tests are commonly used when screening for protest cancer.
    1. A Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) test-a blood test. The PSA is a substance your prostate makes. The test measures the level of PSA in your blood. Your PSA level may be high if you have prostate cancer and for many other reasons, such as having an enlarged prostate.
    2. Digital Rectal Examination-when a healthcare provider inserts a gloved, lubricated finger into a man’s rectums to feel the prostate for anything abnormal, such as cancer.
  • Some cancers are caused by human papillomavirus (HPV), a very common sexually transmitted infection. The HPV vaccine protects against the types of HPV that most often cause cancers of the penis, anus, and oropharynx (back of the throat, including the base of the tongue and tonsils).

    Tips For Lowering Your Chance of Getting Cancer
  • Lowering tobacco usage. Drug addictions can cause cancer.
  • Staying up-to-date on screening tests for colorectal and lung cancer
  • Limiting the amount of alcohol you drink
  • Protecting your skin from the sun
  • Getting to and keeping a healthy weight, and staying physically active

Resource
https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/dcpc/resources/features/cancerandmen/index.htm

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